Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Dear John:

Dear Mr. McCain,

You are clearly a very intelligent and compassionate man with many accomplishments. So I'm sure you're not a racist. Sooooo, will you be extending your amnesty plan to those of us who are not illegal immigrants? The reason I ask is, I would really appreciate it if the government would overlook 2 felonies and 5 misdemeanors that I commit. I haven't decided what those will be yet but I've got my $5000 fine ready to pay upfront.

Thank you,
The Mirthful Misanthrope

PS - Your affirmative reply will greatly influence my presidential endorsement

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